My Heart Lies in Your Empty Grave
by Serena Thorn
Summary: The opposite of love isn't hate. Veronica's about to find out how true that is after a fact finding trip reunites her with the one person she never thought she would see again.


Title: My Heart Lies in Your Empty Grave  
>Summary: The opposite of love isn't hate. Veronica's about to find out how true that is after a fact finding trip reunites her with the one person she never thought she would see again.<br>Rating: PG-13  
>Spoilers: 3x14<br>Word Count: 3207  
>Disclaimer: Veronica Mars is not owned by me, but by Rob Thomas. I'm simply borrowing these characters for non-profit entertainment.<br>A/N: Post AU S3. This came from a love/hate relationship prompt, so consider yourselves warned for angst. 

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><p>It wasn't the piece Veronica had ever expected to be asked to write for Neptune's newspaper. Really, she couldn't believe it was for Neptune's paper when she had gotten the call at all. But thanks to her recent freelance work she had begun to make a name for herself. At least in Neptune.<p>

When she heard Lamb had died those weeks before, she hadn't let herself stay surprised for long. To her mind he was incompetent on a good day, had gone walking into what he had known to be a dangerous situation without back-up and had paid the price. All his own fault, she decided. Why should she shed even single a tear for that? Especially when it had been almost four years since she had sworn she would never let Sheriff Lamb be the reason she would cry ever again.

But now here she was in his former hometown in Texas, trying to dig up what ever positive kernels of truth she could put into the article she was supposed to be writing about him. And why her? Because somehow even the reporters knew that Lamb and she had known each other long enough and quite possibly well enough. They may have even been willing to go to Keith instead for a few quotes, but Keith wasn't the reporter in the Mars family, Veronica was. They also hoped that the personal touch would get more copies of their paper sold.

Veronica had already made it clear that this would be anything but a puff piece. Lamb was a jerk. Nothing had changed her mind about that. Sure he seemed to be going soft in the last year that she had known him, the last year of his life... Even giving her implied compliments about her investigative prowess. But she knew the people who would be reading it as well, and she knew what the paper was looking for. Maybe it wouldn't be a puff piece, but she wouldn't paint him as the devil she had often considered him to be either.

The truth was he could have made life a lot worse for her if he had wanted to and she knew it. She also hadn't been happy when she heard that he had died. She hadn't even been happy when she heard he was still in intensive care minutes before that. Not even for a moment. Since then Neptune hadn't been the same without him. It was quieter, sure. Though not any safer. Her father was back under even worse scrutiny than he had been in years and things had become downright boring. Not that she would claim to miss Lamb. She wouldn't go that far. At least not to anyone who could hear her.

But here she had heard that there was county fair happening that weekend and that some of his former fellow deputies would be in attendance. Some on duty, some not. Since this seemed to be what she had been sent here for, she knew she would be putting in an appearance herself.

The few hours she spent at the fairgrounds turned out to be exactly what she had hoped for. She found more than a few people who remembered him. Some who gave her stories she couldn't believe and others that told her exactly what she would have expected. Only half of either points she would be using, but it still felt good to know he hadn't been all good even in his hometown. But of course hearing bits and pieces about how he had become as cold as he had sometimes seemed did nothing to improve her mood either. It was easier to hate him when she didn't know about his past. Even if it didn't excuse half the things he had said or done, it still gave her some understanding.

What Veronica couldn't have known though was that there was one important person there that she hadn't spoken to. One with more information on the fallen sheriff than anyone. She also had no way of knowing that person had seen her.

Granted the reason she didn't know she was being watched had been because the man had been lying low himself. He had been ever since his return to the town. He may have also moved behind a large hanging banner when he spotted her in the crowd. Though he was all the more thankful he had as he overheard who and what she was asking about. Some memories needed to stay buried, just as some things needed to continue to be believed. At least that's what he spent the next few days telling himself. Right up until the moment he less than accidentally found her article posted online.

His mouth remained in a straight line as he read most of it. He hadn't been surprised at how she had twisted a few of the stories, how she had clearly left out key points that he knew she had to have heard about. But he was thankful she had kept a few things to herself. Particularly some things she had known from personal experience. Really, he didn't know she had it in her. But unfortunately for him, he knew that if he wanted the story set straight that there was only one way to make that happen. And it would mean his days of being in hiding coming to an end.

And letting her find out for herself that he was still alive.

Don hadn't thought there was anything left for him in Neptune. And with all the favors he had racked up even in his brief time as the sheriff, well, it wasn't a surprise that no one had thought anything but what they had been told. No one there had cared enough to want to see his body, to know for sure he was dead. They had all just taken it for granted and up until then he had been fairly satisfied with that. At least Neptune wasn't his problem anymore. Or so he had thought until Veronica had shown up asking her questions and had now posted this ever so skewed article at least.

"Since when are you getting the big letters around here?" Keith asked as he walked into the apartment, the large envelope in his hand.

"What do you mean?" Veronica asked him.

"I thought only I got letters like these. Tell me your not in trouble with a dean again."

"You tell me. Where's it from?"

Keith looked at the return address. "A P.O. box in Texas. Do you think one of the news organizations or the sheriff's department there has a critique on your article?"

Veronica scoffed. "Probably."

Within the next few moments she tore open the envelope and read the letter inside. Her confusion turned to uneasiness as she read. The person who had typed it - yes, typed it - claimed to have known Lamb and seemed almost insulted at her article. For a moment she wondered if it hadn't been a family member of his. She had made sure to not even try to track any of them down just because of something like this. But when she read the last few lines telling her that they weren't out for a retraction, but instead a chance to tell her more about her subject she found herself curious all over again. It was signed, "A Friend" and told her when and where they would be willing to meet her so long as she would come back to the same fairgrounds she had been talking to the deputies at.

Never one to turn down a good story, nor a good mystery, she packed a bag again and decided another weekend trip was in order. What did she care? It was for work, which meant she could put it on the newspaper's tab again. Maybe if she was lucky, since the person behind the letter claimed to have the details that she wanted most, she would get exactly what she had initially hoped for. In a way she was almost glad she had written the article the way she had, she had hoped to draw someone out like this. Now she wasn't naive enough to think that this person might not be out for a fight, but she wasn't worried. She still had a card from one of the deputies that had asked her out. She was pretty sure if she ended up in trouble that at least he would come to her rescue. At least it was better than risking trying to take her taser on the plane.

The sun had begun to set when she reached the fairgrounds again, the sun resembling a vast orange ball that seemed intent on blinding her. She guessed that what this so-called friend had planned when she saw the human shape step in front of it.

Raising her hand to shield her eyes to try to get a better look at what she now had an idea to be a man, she asked, "Not that I'm complaining about this chance to get some better facts, but haven't you heard of using a phone so people don't have to fly fifteen hundred miles?"

Lamb almost smiled as he took his slow strides towards her. He could hear the twinge of fear in her voice and really he kind of liked it. All the years she spent scaring him, it was almost fair.

"Don't tell me that I came all the way out here to find out the cat's got your tongue. Why don't you answer me, since you had me come all the way out here? It is the least you could do, friend."

"Ah, friend. I'll admit I'd almost missed hearing you call me that. But, then if I'd called I would have had to miss seeing the look on your face when you solved this mystery," he told her, now getting close enough for her to make out his features even under the hat he was wearing. "Not a chance I'd miss this."

Veronica's eyes widened slightly. That voice. _No way. No. Fraking. Way,_ repeated like a chant in her mind even as he kept walking until he was only a few steps from her.

"I told you I had details about the guy you were asking questions about. Can't accuse me of lying for once," he smirked, just waiting for her to scream or maybe faint.

Veronica didn't do either. She did however remain frozen in place and wonder briefly if someone had slipped her something on the plane. There was no way that this could be happening. Lamb was _dead._ That was what her father had said, what the news had said, what Sacks and Inga and his headstone said. How could they all have been wrong?

"So what do you think? You want to get your facts straight before you post another article about me?"

She didn't even blink. "Considering how many laws you apparently broke to fake your death, yeah actually. I'm all for it. Tell me, _Sheriff,_ what'd I leave out that was so important I had to come back here for? Aside from that you're a complete bastard who is apparently still alive?"

"Ooh. You sound angry. Angry I'm alive or are you just angry that your little article proved you actually care a little bit?"

Angry? Yes. That was definitely one of the emotions coursing through her veins. Along with about a thousand others she couldn't quite name. How the hell could he be alive? How could any of this be real? And more importantly, why was she _happy_ that he was standing in front of her?

"I'll take your silence as the latter. And in case you're wondering, I wasn't lying. I was at the fair when you were. And yes, that's part of what inspired this meeting of ours here."

"Then why send the letter? Why not reveal your grand scheme then? Could've saved me the plane ticket."

"I wanted to see what you were going to say about me first. And I'm surprised you did me any favors at all in your article."

"Don't worry. It won't happen again."

He moved closer when he saw a flash of something in her eyes. And then he smiled. "Look at that. You do care. Is that a tear I see?"

Veronica looked away, blinking as if to destroy the evidence. "You're right about one thing. I did like you better when you were dead. How long do you think you'll stay out of jail when I print that you're still alive? Because believe me, I'll enjoy telling everyone I can about this."

"I'm sure you will. But first wouldn't you like to know why I did it? Why I chose to show you I never really went anywhere, aside from leaving Neptune and coming back home?"

Her eyes, which she would continue to insist were completely tear free, met his again. "No. It doesn't matter. You got what you wanted from the looks of it. You got about a quarter of the town to care, you got my father to clean up the mess you left behind, as usual, and you're able to live it up out here while no one else is any the wiser. How many payoffs did you get when you left, by the way?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," he grinned. "But alright, say you don't care. Why'd you come back when you didn't even know who was asking you to? Why didn't you do more research of your own before agreeing to meet someone who called themselves no more than a friend? A supposed friend who gave you just a P.O. box with no phone number or name to go on? Was it really about putting another nail in my coffin or were you just that desperate to know more about the guy you finally decided may not have been so bad after all?"

"I wanted to impress the bosses, who for some reason wanted you to have some kind of farewell in ink by someone who knew the real you. Meanwhile some of us actually enjoy doing our jobs, so yeah, I took the gig when it was offered in the hope of ending up with a better job when I got back to Neptune. Even if it meant following up on a lead that might have led me nowhere."

"What did you miss most? My face, my handcuffs, how my ass looked in my uniform? Or did you just miss the fighting? Because, if I had to guess, you didn't seem to miss the fighting there towards the end. Even if you did call me a jerk the last time you saw me."

"You are a jerk."

"Maybe. But I'm the jerk you missed. I'm the jerk you didn't want dead. I'm the jerk you came out here to hear about not once but twice. Face it, Veronica, I'm the jerk you can't let go of."

"Are you done?"

"Since you ask, no. I'm also the jerk who doesn't care if he gets his ass handed to him for doing this," he stated before he closed the gap between them, took her face in his hands and fastened his lips to hers. All of which so quickly she couldn't even be sure what was happening for a matter of seconds.

Only when Veronica's brain did manage to catch up, she pushed him away as hard as she could and caused him to stumble back a step. To his credit, she could see he wasn't surprised she had done it. "You really think I'm that easy? That you can come back from the dead and I'm just going to welcome you with an open mouth? You know what, I was right. Even if I didn't put it in print, I'm right. You really are a manipulative bastard and the worst part is you get off on it. It doesn't matter if I missed you in less time than it takes to bat an eye. It doesn't matter what I said about things being quieter with you gone, it doesn't change anything else."

"Like how you were beginning to trust me again?"

"Won't pretend to make that mistake again."

"Or that you just kissed me back?"

"Who says I did?"

"You're right, none of that changes either of those things. It also doesn't change that I know you'll be back here again for me. Maybe in a few days. Maybe in a month. And I know that you'll only hate me more if you come back to find that I left again, this time leaving no trace as to where I go next. So I'll tell you what. The next time you want to pretend you don't miss me, try New Mexico. A friend might send you a postcard from there sooner than you think."

With that Lamb walked away, knowing he couldn't let her get the last word in. Knowing that as long as he left her with those words, and the phantom strength of his lips still against hers, that she would prove him right. She could kick and scream all she wanted, she could try to convince herself it wasn't true until the words lost all meaning. But he knew her better than most. He knew it would just be a matter of time before she came looking again. There wasn't anyone she could take her aggressions out on better than him, no one who would take it and then turn and dish it out just as well as she could. She could hate him, but that would never mean that she had really stopped caring. He knew from experience that her brand of hate couldn't exist without there having once been at least some semblance of love.

She proved it first each day he found that she had made no changes of any sort to her article about him. No retraction, no revenge piece. Nothing. As though that day had never happened. He silently agreed to let her pretend it hadn't until he was in New Mexico. It was risky being closer to Neptune, sure. But it was still less risky for him than staying in Texas with people who had known him before he had gone to Neptune in the first place. At least he was still in a fairly secluded area and he also knew that she would find him when she was ready. All he had to do was send her that friendly postcard.

When he finally did, Veronica was at his door a grand total of two days later. Was there anything worse than having to, even privately, admit Lamb was right? Yes, she knew. The idea that he would never be there to be his occasionally infuriatingly right self again. Even when she was angry enough to want to see his blood she at least felt alive. That was better than anything Neptune had to offer her now.

And that was what would have her coming back to him, back to his home and even back to his bed every chance she got from that day on.

The End


End file.
